Wherever you are my love will find you...

Today we are 46 days into our wait for the next step in our adoption.  Time is so surreal in general, but this experience time takes on a whole new meaning.  When we submitted our LID and began this waiting period, the average time to anticipate the next step was 62 days.  Then it went down to 61 days, which I commented my excitement on in a previous post.  Now the wait average is up to 64...and the last four people who have posted in my group have waited between 71-103 days.  Not good.  We are still optimistic that we will travel sometime between August and October, but I so look forward to the light at the end of this tunnel.  I just want my kid home.

Today I talked with the Lakeville School District about setting up an evaluation once we come home.  From the time I make an official request the district has 45 calendar days to complete the process.  I am hopeful that Lakeville & New Prague Schools can find  way to work it out for me to have Christian evaluated in our district.  I know the team who would evaluate him and work with him and I would love to see him consistently receive services with the same people instead of starting one place and switching to the next.  Soon I need to start calling the medical professionals who will be involved him helping evaluate his medical needs.

I believe we made great gains in the area of my adoptive leave this week.  One HR lady shared that I can have staff donate days towards my sick days, which means that not only will I get my health insurance contributed as if I were working, but there is a chance that enough staff will give me the days I need to stay home and be paid my full salary all twelve weeks.  A lot of the credit on this goes towards our family doctor, who was willing to write a statement that there as a medical need for me to stay home the full twelve weeks.  Praise the Lord.

We have still not heard anything about receiving a grant or loan, but I have received two emails this week and a phone call from different foundations saying they are processing our request, which hopefully is a good sign.  I have started collecting things for our garage sale fundraiser and now have 12 tutoring hours each week booked for the summer. Adam really impressed me with his realization this week.  He shared with me that even though it would be awesome if we had all the necessary money for this adoption sitting in our pockets and we didn't have to work so hard to raise funds and pay off debts in the future, we have learned so many good lessons through this process.  We will walk away from this experience as totally different people than when we started, hopefully for the better.

I have started picking up a few things for our next care package to Christian.  I bought a book at Hallmark called, "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You".  Yes, I was the person crying reading through the book at the store.  It is a beautiful story, but even better:  It records you reading the story.  So, Adam and I took turns reading and recording ourselves read the story to our son.  He won't know what we are saying, but he will hear our voices.  There are a few people at the orphanage who speak English, so hopefully they will translate the story to him and the other caregivers.  These are the words in the book:

 At the beginning of the story we can record a page with whatever we want.  We shared how much we love him and used the Chinese words for "mom" and "dad" - mama & baba.  We used his Chinese name as well, so hopefully we pronounced it right :)

I wanted you more
than you ever will know,
so I sent love to follow
wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it.
It's quick as an elf.
You'll never outgrow it...
it sretches itself!

So climb any mountain...
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you.
My love can fly!

Make a big splash!
Go out on a limb!
My love will find you.
My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...
if you're working, or playing,
or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy,
paint 'til you're blue...

There's no place, not one
that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
or strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face,
feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby,
my love is right there.

In the green of the grass...
in the smell of the sa...
in the clouds floating by...
at the top of a tree...
in the sound crickets make
at the end of the day...

"You are loved.
You are loved.
You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep,
it's always right there, even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high and don't be afraid
to march to the front of your own parade.
If you're still my small babe
or you're all the way grown,
my promise to you is you're never alone.

You are my angel, my darling, my star...
and my love will find you, wherever you are.

Birthdays, T-ball, Graduation, OH MY!

I know that most of my posts have been about our precious Christian lately, so tonight I dedicate this post to my other three loves - AJ, Abby, and Adam.  My down time, time before and after the kids are in bed, and a lot of the time in-between, is definitely filled with conversations and thoughts about bringing Christian home.  If absence makes the heart grow fonder, just imagine how fond my heart is for our little man.  Our lives have also had many moments of fun and laughter these days.  With all the years struggling with infertility in our lives - whether trying to get pregnant, losing our babies, waiting in-between, medical needs, etc - there is such an inner peace and happiness knowing that every day brings us that much closer to having our family complete and just enjoying life as we will soon know it. 

Adam's birthday was today.  He has completely amazed me through this whole process.  My Adam, if you know him, is a great guy.  He works so hard and is so good at what he does.  His business has done very well and he is still co-owner of a small tile business with his father.  This is no easy task and unfortunately he has a lot of weight on his shoulders to keep his employees busy yet not overworked, companies satisfied, and to provide quality work at a good price while still making a profit.  No easy task at all and I am amazed every day with his dedication to his work.  Adam has really felt the financial strain of our adoption.  Keep in mind, when we started our adoption process we were still paying off our last rounds of infertility treatment.  He has given so much really to meet my needs of wanting just one more child.  God has placed this desire on my heart to have another child and to adopt this child, and at the same time He placed a desire in Adam's heart to help make this happen.  Adam got up this morning, on his birthday, just like any other.  The alarm went off around 5:30 and he got up and was taking calls by 6.  He worked all day, even a little late, but made sure to be home in time to join our family for a picnic night for AJ's class.  He spent the evening playing ball with his kids and visiting with parents, and is enjoying a little snip of time on his motorcycle right now while the kids and I are in our beds.  Adam is one of the most selfless people that I know.  He loves the Lord and he loves his family. 

AJ has grown so much this year I can barely believe he was once my little baby in my arms.  He is reading chapter books now (short ones), is a whiz in school, is liked by his peers, has a great sense of humor, and loves cuddles - even if sometimes he pretends he doesn't.  AJ initiates a hug with me in the hallway every chance he can get, and I can just feel sparks of love tingle through in those brief moments.  AJ has a love for the Lord more so than just about any 7-year-old that I know.  He talks openly about God with his friends, shares that he will pray for people - and does, and has such compassion when we talk about his little brother and what his life might be like.  He is constantly sharing thoughts on things he would like to teach his little brother.  I know I have shared this before, but it was his idea to name our son Christian.  He was beyond excited when he learned that Christian will be able to learn about God and to become a believer when he might have never had that opportunity in China.  He suggested the name Christian when he discovered that, and immediately we all fell in love with the name - even before we were matched with our son.  AJ will share very openly that he does not like his sister if you ask, but honestly, he loves her.  They play for hours together just about every night, they sit on the couch snuggled under a blanket and watch movies and share popcorn from a bowl together, and he loves to explain things to her.  They also enjoy sharing potty humor together every chance they get.  Their favorite most recent trick is to say, "Hey mom, look under there" and to try to get me to say, "Under where?"  One will "trick" me into this response and immediately the other will try to get me again.  I fall for it every time - how can I not when I see them laugh and smile together in their shared mischief?  This Saturday AJ begins t-ball.  Adam is one of his coaches and he has a great arm (leftie).  I so enjoy watching these two together during t-ball season!

Abby has her dance recital next weekend.  She looks so grown up and beautiful in her little tutu and tulle.  She loves to dance and sing.  She has such a great personality.  I always wish at moments like this, when I am reflecting on her cuteness and how much the kids have grown, that I took more pictures or video clips of these two.  I just want to capture every second and every minute so I can always remember these feelings and images.  But, life is busy, and honestly they hate to have their pictures taken.  Abby graduated from preschool today.  I have been asked by people about whether or not we considered holding her back since her birthday is in the middle of June, but my answer is a solid no.  She is so beyond ready for kindergarten.  I give AJ a lot of credit for this.  She loves to read and write.  She can spell many words and she can read about the same.  Her fine motor skills are great and she loves to learn and ask questions.  We are blessed that both AJ and Abby are both very bright and absorb information like little sponges.  Beyond that, they truly enjoy learning and have great confidence in their abilities.  She also is a little social butterfly.  Sometimes she acts like a teenager with sass and spunk, but I wouldn't have her any other way.  I love thinking about what our kids are going to be like in the future.  Right now Abby says she wants to be a gymnastics teacher when she grows up.  Abby loves to play with our neighbors and to be outdoors.  She is so affectionate and loving.  She loves playing with babies and making people laugh.  I swear that girl can contort her face into 100 different emotions with the snap of a finger just to get a laugh. 

I look forward to adding a paragraph one day about what Christian is like and what he aspires to be.  To be continued... :)

A silent commitment

I am so eternally thankful that we are adopting at a time on Earth where technology is what it is.  Last night, around 9:00, Adam and the kids were in bed and I decided to stay up "just a little while" to check on Christian's Orphanage Website.  I noticed there was a file of new pictures, so one thing led to the other and an hour into searching through pictures I came across the face of a girl I recognized from a lady who is in a Facebook group I belong to.  I emailed her the picture in case she didn't see it yet.  I did this one day last week to another lady where both of our two children were playing bubbles together.  It is amazing how connected I feel with a family living across the country knowing that all the way around the world children who we love and are bonded with are friends. Anyway - I emailed this woman yesterday the picture I found and we got to chatting.  She taught me that Google Chrome will actually translate Chinese to English just by opening the website in that browser!  Amazing, right?  So far, this past month I have spent hours clicking blindly on links and symbols in hopes of coming across new pictures of my son, often times leading to dead ends.  Now I can read what the files are called.  Some of the files with pictures are from before my son was born or living at this orphanage, so of course he wouldn't have any pictures in it, which means I don't need to sort through the 1,000+ pictures looking at every bald baby to see if that is him.  

Then, this afternoon I checked on Facebook and I had a message from another lady who I have connected with through this process. Her child was already adopted from this orphanage and she has been a tremendous resource for me. She told me our son's profile page was updated and WE WERE ON THERE.  Amazingly enough, we are.  I thought that the children's profiles were not updated once they were matched, but below is what is on his profile page right now.  It is against the rules for families and orphanages to communicate with one another.  The Chinese government wants to make sure that families are not bribing places to take better care of your child than the other children there.  I heard it was also intended to prevent any kind of trafficking.  But, even though I am able to access this public profile, we really are following the rules of not communicating.  Because of the google chrome translation and the connections I have made on facebook, I was able to have this precious gift.  The camera, jump drive, and photo book have all safely made it to his orphanage.  I have the Chinese characters on the bottom in case I can have it officially translated one day. I loved some of the words his caretaker used to tell the story of what a blessing it is to have a family. She called it a "silent commitment". I now know that our son knows who we are.  He has seen our faces.  He knows he is loved and the men and women who feed, hold, and love on him in our absence can begin telling the true fairy tale of how strangers will meet and fall in love one day very soon.

Liang Yunpeng from Shangqiu in Angel home life has been one year and four months.In this 520 day confession, Peng Peng received one from adoptive parents "confession", gives you a silent commitment "Peng Peng, starting today you have another identity: Mom and Dad's son, brother, sister, brother, grandparents, grandchildren, grandma grandpa grandson, with a complete family. " I believe such a "confession" for Angel House is better than one thousand children, "I love you."

  Peng Peng particularly bright eyes, a look that is a smart kid. One year and three months has not walk very stable, like to play ball, the ball regardless of size, in Angel's family's yard full of yard often seen chasing a villain than his little head is a big ball ran. Like to play slippery slide, slid down his back did not dare, so every time I have to slip off the head, get down, and then slid down, landing on Oh's music non-stop, every adult has a childhood, but the fun We are unable to understand.Perhaps in the eyes of adult life is okay to have some fun, own cajole yourself happy.

   Maybe the kids were young, unaware of the existence of the house, around as long as there own people can rely on and trust, perhaps for them is the feeling of home. Even if we try to do, but ultimately can not give these children a full house and family love. For small children, the dream is very light, but we will give you the power to fly sky, from soar.

   Life awaited expectations, there will be an unexpected delight. We look forward to the next delight, also witnessed a happy beginning.

  梁云鹏，来自河南商丘，在天使之家生活已经一年零四个月。在这个520告白日，鹏鹏收到了一个来自收养父母的“告白”，给了你一个无声的承诺“鹏鹏，从今天开始你有了另一个身份：爸爸妈妈的儿子，哥哥姐姐的弟弟，爷爷奶奶的孙子、姥姥姥爷的外孙，有了一个完整的家庭”。相信这样的“告白”对于天使之家的孩子来说胜过千句“我爱你”。

 鹏鹏的眼睛特别亮、一看就是个机灵小鬼。一岁零三个月就已经走路走得很稳，喜欢玩球，球无论大小，在天使之家的院子里经常看见一个小人满院子追着比自己小脑袋都大的球跑着。喜欢玩滑滑梯，仰面朝天不敢滑下来，所以每次滑的时候都要掉个头，趴下，然后滑下来，落地就呵呵的乐个不停，每个成人都有童年，可是这种乐趣我们是无法体会的。也许在成年人的眼里生活就是没事找点乐子，自己哄着自己开心吧。

也许在孩子们小的时候，意识不到家的存在，身边只要有自己可以依靠与信赖的人，也许对于他们来说就是家的感觉。即使我们努力去做，但最终也给不了这些孩子一个完整的家与家的爱。对于小小的孩子们来说，梦想很轻，但是我们会给你们飞向蓝天的力量，从此展翅翱翔。

   生活有望穿秋水的期待，也会有意想不到的欣喜。我们期待着下一个欣喜，也见证下一份幸福的开始。