Acronyms...

This is what I have learned today...

APC http://groups.yahoo.com/group/a-parents-china/
LID – Log in Date
DTC – Dossier to China
TA – Travel Approval (called other things in other countries, this is the Notice of Coming to China)
CA – Consulate Appointment
SN – special needs
NSN – non special needs
PA – Pre-approval (part of the SN process)
PAP – Potential Adoptive Parent
LOA – Letter of Acceptance – used in both NSN and SN process. In NSN program it is the document that allows you to officially accept a referral. In SN program the CCAA sends it after the LOI and before TA.
LOI – Letter of Intent (again, used in the SN process)
SWI / CWI – Social/Children’s Welfare Institute, what orphanages are called in China

Merry CHRISTmas!

I am so enjoying our Christmas break.  I always do.  There is something so wonderful about being able to spend this special time with my children without worrying about taking time off of work.  We bake cookies, sleep in, get the house messy, clean it up, sip hot cocoa by the fire after playing outside, and snuggle watching Charlie Brown's Christmas.  We also get to sleep in, stay up late, have pajama days, and visit with friends.  This break is unique because I am also working on applying for grants, trying to understand the dozens of acronyms that are used for Chinese adoptions, and are reading up on the history and culture of China thanks to a great book my parents gave us for Christmas.  Our cake for Jesus' birthday was eaten this year by Buddy, who jumped up on the counter while we were at a party, but regardless - we did try to keep the focus of this magnificent holiday on Him and the true meaning of why we celebrate. 

December 11th was the day Adam and I got our fingerprints done for our I-800A.  We are about halfway through the waiting period for this process - six weeks in now.  All of our other documents have been in China now for about three weeks, and we haven't heard anything yet, so fingers crossed that this means they have not caught anything yet that needs to be fixed up.  We were told three different people will proof everything to make sure nothing is missed before they start the translation process.  So...update on timeline is:  in about six weeks (first week in February) we should get our I800A back...then to St. Paul and Chicago, so by around the end of February we should have our dossier all in Colorado.  They take about a month to process and finalize/ translate - so around the end of March it should go to China.  Then it should take about two months for processing...so end of May.  Then 5-8 months to get a match... so October-January.  Then another three months for travel...so January-April. 

It was so nice being able to visit with our families this past week.  We went to Adam's mom's house on Christmas Eve for supper, Adam's dad's the Saturday before, and the Giles side on Christmas day.  My parents also spent four days visiting with us at our home.  We made the Feast of the Seven Seas and gorged ourselves on shrimp, calamari (yucky to clean, delicious to eat!), clam bake, crab dip, and scallops.  My favorite meal of the year!  We look forward to bringing in the New Year with some of our neighbors at our home too.  So many things to be thankful for!

Tick...tock...tick...tock... That is me "patiently" waiting.  We are just under two weeks in to our wait for the I-800A process, which is being estimated to take 70-90 days.  The good news is I did send all of our documents from MN (which is 11) to Chicago to get authenticated last Friday.  I received an email confirmation yesterday stating that our courier delivered the documents to the consulate and that they will be sent back to us by Monday signed, sealed, and authenticated.  Once I receive these back we will send everything minus the I800A to CCAI to make sure everything is ready for our dossier.  We need this time to save up, which will be tricky as we approach Christmas.  When our papers are ready for China we will need to pay a big chunk of change, some to China and the rest to our agency for all the work they are doing, which is a lot.  We had to get passport pictures taken, pictures of us as a couple, pictures of us with others, and a slew of other misc. documents. 

I looked closer over our total timeline and am getting excited.  If things go according to "plan" then we are actually looking at February/ March of next year being able to go to China and complete our family.  I know that seems like a long ways away, but to think that is just little over a year is so exciting!  I am glad things won't happen in the late summer or fall either.  This way I can dedicate this time to my job and helping my own kids adjust to a routine before all our excitement takes place. 

Tonight I spent a lot of time putting our Christmas cards together.  I had so much fun looking over our pictures from this past and reflecting on all the wonderful memories we made.  It did seem strange to me not to include our baby on our card - is that strange?  I know we don't have a match right yet, but I think about this kiddo as often as I do ours in their beds right now.  Next Christmas I already have a plan for how to include our newest addition on our card :) 

Have a blessed night!

Let the grant writing begin!

Last week, on 11/15/2013, we sent our 1-800A to Texas!  We are now entering another waiting period - and this will be our longest period so far.  We have been told we will need to wait 70-90 days before our paperwork will be returned and ready to be certified and then authenticated.  Since this is such a long timeline we need to submit this page separately from the rest of our paperwork because there is a 6-month period that documents can be used before approved by the embassy.  SO - tomorrow is off to the state capital to have 11 documents that have already been notarized in order to be certified by the MN secretary of state.  Then they go to Chicago.  In the meantime we will wait on our I-800A to be returned.  Yesterday in the mail we received my birth certificate which is the first document that is totally ready to go in the dossier.  Sorry - this is pretty dry information, but I am hoping documenting everything here will help me better remember all these details.

Now that our home study is finished and sealed we can begin writing grants and requesting some of the funds to be covered.  We have decided that we don't want to ask family or friends for money - we already have two beautiful children and this is our choice and God's direction to do this.  We are praying and hoping that a few grants are approved.  The more we are able to cover up front the more likely I will be able to take a full three month maternity leave.  Right now my district only offers 2 days that I can utilize my sick days.  Everything else will need to be unpaid.  Yuck!

I feel like I am being patient with this process, and fortunately life is SO busy that I barely have time to keep up with the day-to-day things and "me time" is not really even an option, but I feel my pulse rush a bit everytime I think about my child.  I feel in a way connected to our child, more so than I can really comprehend.  I feel a connection already like when I think and pray for our child that they can feel that.  I hope so.  I hope that when I get goosebumps of excitement our child feels the love we are pouring out.

This month I have been making a point to state one thing I am thankful for each day.  There are so many things I a thankful for, but above all is my faith and my family.  I am so blessed and appreciative of all that God has given me.

More exciting than Disneyworld!

Our family is planning our first family vacation by airplane and is set to leave in nine days.  While talking about how exciting this opportunity is with our two children, I mentioned, "Isn't this the most exciting thing ever?"  AJ looked at me and said, "No mom.  Adopting our baby from China is way more exciting".  Wow.  Now, granted, AJ has no idea how awesome Disneyworld will be, but at the same time, we have been talking up Disney for months.  I love how excited our kids are for our child.  Abby is already calling herself a "big sister".  One thing we are excited to do in Disney is to go to Epcot, where they have different countries of the world represented.  I want to buy a few things in the China area - for AJ and Abby, but also for our little one to have ready for them when they arrive.  I am so looking forward to AJ and Abby experiencing China - even if it is in a very contrived setting geared towards tourists :)

What floors me is the thought that our child could already be born, or might be being brought to this world right now.  Now that I am understanding the process and timelines of adoption better, I am understanding that 18 months is going to be the magic number.  That is about how long the process takes if there are no major delays, and that is about how old our child will be when we have them in our arms.  This means at this very moment our child might be being delivered.  Is it being held and touched?  Is it cold and alone?  I pray for you.  We do.  Our family prays for our "baby" every night.  We pray that it is shown love and affection, is being taken care of - fed, changed, held.  We pray that it doesn't get sick and is comfortable.  We pray that it knows in its heart that it is loved by us already, and that love is getting stronger every day.

We are almost finished with our home study.  Tuesday is our final meeting, and if all goes well (which we pray that it will) then we are ready for the next step, which is to send our paperwork to Texas for immigration approval.  This will take about two months, then we get things certified in St. Paul.  Adam can bring this in to the office, so this will be a quick step.  Then we send things to Chicago for authentication.  This can take 60-90 days.  Then, the day we get this big packet back in the mail we are ready to send everything over to CCAI (our agency) and then...CHINA!  This process can take another 2-4 months for China's approval, then we wait for our referral, which we were told will take 6-8 months for a girl, and less for a boy.  We are not requesting a gender, so most likely it will be a boy.  AJ wants a boy so he can play sports with him, but Abby wants a girl because she has "always wanted a twin sister". :)  I would love to adopt two children, but I feel in my heart one is the magic number.  Adam feels in his wallet one is the number too :) 

Having our home study complete will also mean we can begin applying for grants. This will be a great way to fill these months in waiting.  I hope and pray that we are chosen for a few - wouldn't that be wonderful!  I have heard of people having their adoption fully funded through grants, and others who were given nothing.  I realize through our journey of creating our family how so many things in lives are a gift.  While I would love to say our family is deserving of a grant, it is hard for me to honestly say we are more deserving than another family.  We are so blessed in life.  Both Adam and I have good and stable jobs, health insurance, two beautiful children, and our Faith.  These things considered, receiving assistance would definitely be another blessing that we would be appreciative of!

There are several families at our church who are in the process of adoption as well.  What a support they have been!  It is so wonderful to be around others who have experienced similar circumstances as well as those who are going through the same process at the same time.  My coworkers and family have also been amazing.  It is such a great support system that we have.  I am so excited to bring a child into a community of such loving and compassionate people.  Again - just feeling blessed tonight!

With love,
Melissa

We have a plan!

Since my post last month we have made many decisions.  Every step we complete and every day that ends brings us that much closer to our addition :) 

After much research we decided on adopting through an agency called CCAI.  They don't have employees in MN, so we also needed to decide on an agency who would complete our homestudy.  This agency will be AWAA.  We had to pre-apply and then apply with each agency to make sure we qualify and meet criteria for this adoption, and thankfully were approved with both! 

We have paid our initial fees so far, which amazingly enough we have been able to pay through the sale of Adam's prized boat.  He was able to sell it at his asking price, which he then was able to pay off any debt he owed and then put the rest in savings, which has already been used towards our fees for the adoption. 

Making these decisions now and having these initial applications approved over the summer has allowed time during the day for us to run errands and make calls, which I am hoping will help keep this process flowing and moving towards a "quick" process.  We were told to plan on 11-18 months from the time we submit our application, which was 7/19.  Since that date we signed up with AWAA, requested both of our birth certificates, our marriage license, and sent in a request for a new passport since mine expires in January.  Today we received our dossier packet via email, which I can access in about an hour according to the email.  We have been so blessed with this process!  Everything has gone so smoothly so far, I almost feel like I should pinch myself! 

This week Adam and I have a doctor's appointment to get our physicals done, which is one part of the process.  We also need to watch 12 hours of video training, which I am hoping to begin later this week.

In other news, I have only one more homework assignment for my sixth summer school class left.  I feel like a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders and my time will be more free for adoption paperwork when this is done, so I am very excited to finish soon!  I have been selling pampered chef for about a month, and I am almost caught up with paying off my initial expenses.  This will hopefully be another source of income in the very near future and will help with some adoption expenditures.

The kids and I have had a blast this summer and have spent lots of time outdoors with friends.  I am a little sad for summer to end for us, but look forward to getting back on a routine with school and for Abby to start preschool, dance, and gymnastics in a few weeks and for AJ to begin FIRST grade!

Have a blessed day.

A New Beginning

I write this update with butterflies in my stomach.  So much has changed since my last blog, and as difficult as this past year and a half has been in some regards, I know it was all a part of God's plan and I couldn't be happier.

We did try our final few rounds at infertility this past spring.  We did three rounds of IUI beginning in April, all of which included some of the heaviest medications used before taking the next step of IVF.  I was taking up to four shots per day (cetrotide, menopur, antagon, and follistim).  We did this because having a third child has been so heavy on my soul, I can say with confidence that this is what God wants for us.  Adam was very supportive of our plan, and we agreed that if after three rounds we did not get pregnant, maybe that wasn't the route that we were intended to pursue, and instead we should look into adoption. 

I was sad in June when my final negative pregnancy test showed up, but at the same time I felt such a sense of relief wash over me.  I no longer needed to wonder and worry about becoming pregnant.  I could stop the emotional changes that occurred on various cycle days, be finished with the 8+ appointments each month in Edina, and just enjoy my family and really begin the process of completing our family. 

The rest of June and the first two weeks of July were busy with lots of phone calls to friends and various agencies doing my homework on what types of adoptions are out there, typical costs and wait times, how we would get matched with our child, and all the in's and out's of a process I really knew nothing about.  We narrowed our search down to two agencies based on a variety of factors.  We are now down to the Children's Home Society and Bethany.

Yesterday we had our first info session with the Children's Home Society, and although it was a ton of information, I am happy to say we have decided which program we want to go with for our adoption (not which agency as we are waiting on that decision until after we attend Bethany's info session on July 31st- both agencies offer this program).  We have decided to adopt a baby/ toddler through China who has a cleft lip and/or palate.  This is different than the traditional China program (which can take about seven years from start to finish).  This process will be about a year from the time we hand in our first application, which we hope to have completed before I begin teaching again later next month.  Our child would be between 1-3 years old and will need some surgeries and therapies to repair their CL/CP and speech therapy since it will be difficult to understand him/ her.  I am optimistic that although this might have it's own challenges, I am confident that our family will be a source of comfort, love, and support for this child. 

I had actually mostly decided on this program before even attending the info session.  This happened when I spoke with Bethany last week.  My friend, Kim, had adopted her daughter domestically through this agency, so I decided to give them a call before narrowing down our final two choices.  After speaking for over an hour with the domestic representative, I talked the next day for about an hour and a half with their international representative.  She was telling me about the only two programs that they offered that involved less than three weeks of travel (which is important for us since we both work and don't want to leave AJ and Abby for too long).  One was this program and the other was through Haiti.  While we were open to either option, when she was going into detail about these children - why they are placed in orphanages, how difficult their first few years can be, etc. I just had goosebumps literally up and down my body.  I can't guarantee you that this was a sign from God, but I have been praying so hard for the past few months that whatever was meant for us to have some strong feeling or inclination that this was the right decision, and this was the first time in all of this process that everything felt and sounded "right". 

So, what does this mean for this next year?  We will attend an info session with Bethany in two weeks, and I am hoping to decide by the next day, which is a Friday, which agency we want to go with.  Then I am hoping to get the application process started immediately so I can use the rest of my summer vacation to run around collecting things and spend the time necessary on this huge pile of paperwork.  Once the application is completed we will then have a series of home studies conducted.  One of these will be at our home and I think the others are at the agency or at someplace neutral like a coffee shop so the social worker can get to know Adam and I better and can help us with matching us with our child.  There is then more paperwork and we have to start to get ready to travel to China.  We go there to meet our child and sign off on their government documents, and then will have to return home for a few months while everything is finalized in China.  Then Adam and I (or just one of us) will go to China to bring our baby home!  We then have post-adoption meetings with the social worker for up to five years. 

Thanks for everyone who has been supporting us through this journey!  It has been a long process, but good things are worth waiting for :)