I write this update with butterflies in my stomach. So much has changed since my last blog, and as difficult as this past year and a half has been in some regards, I know it was all a part of God's plan and I couldn't be happier.
We did try our final few rounds at infertility this past spring. We did three rounds of IUI beginning in April, all of which included some of the heaviest medications used before taking the next step of IVF. I was taking up to four shots per day (cetrotide, menopur, antagon, and follistim). We did this because having a third child has been so heavy on my soul, I can say with confidence that this is what God wants for us. Adam was very supportive of our plan, and we agreed that if after three rounds we did not get pregnant, maybe that wasn't the route that we were intended to pursue, and instead we should look into adoption.
I was sad in June when my final negative pregnancy test showed up, but at the same time I felt such a sense of relief wash over me. I no longer needed to wonder and worry about becoming pregnant. I could stop the emotional changes that occurred on various cycle days, be finished with the 8+ appointments each month in Edina, and just enjoy my family and really begin the process of completing our family.
The rest of June and the first two weeks of July were busy with lots of phone calls to friends and various agencies doing my homework on what types of adoptions are out there, typical costs and wait times, how we would get matched with our child, and all the in's and out's of a process I really knew nothing about. We narrowed our search down to two agencies based on a variety of factors. We are now down to the Children's Home Society and Bethany.
Yesterday we had our first info session with the Children's Home Society, and although it was a ton of information, I am happy to say we have decided which program we want to go with for our adoption (not which agency as we are waiting on that decision until after we attend Bethany's info session on July 31st- both agencies offer this program). We have decided to adopt a baby/ toddler through China who has a cleft lip and/or palate. This is different than the traditional China program (which can take about seven years from start to finish). This process will be about a year from the time we hand in our first application, which we hope to have completed before I begin teaching again later next month. Our child would be between 1-3 years old and will need some surgeries and therapies to repair their CL/CP and speech therapy since it will be difficult to understand him/ her. I am optimistic that although this might have it's own challenges, I am confident that our family will be a source of comfort, love, and support for this child.
I had actually mostly decided on this program before even attending the info session. This happened when I spoke with Bethany last week. My friend, Kim, had adopted her daughter domestically through this agency, so I decided to give them a call before narrowing down our final two choices. After speaking for over an hour with the domestic representative, I talked the next day for about an hour and a half with their international representative. She was telling me about the only two programs that they offered that involved less than three weeks of travel (which is important for us since we both work and don't want to leave AJ and Abby for too long). One was this program and the other was through Haiti. While we were open to either option, when she was going into detail about these children - why they are placed in orphanages, how difficult their first few years can be, etc. I just had goosebumps literally up and down my body. I can't guarantee you that this was a sign from God, but I have been praying so hard for the past few months that whatever was meant for us to have some strong feeling or inclination that this was the right decision, and this was the first time in all of this process that everything felt and sounded "right".
So, what does this mean for this next year? We will attend an info session with Bethany in two weeks, and I am hoping to decide by the next day, which is a Friday, which agency we want to go with. Then I am hoping to get the application process started immediately so I can use the rest of my summer vacation to run around collecting things and spend the time necessary on this huge pile of paperwork. Once the application is completed we will then have a series of home studies conducted. One of these will be at our home and I think the others are at the agency or at someplace neutral like a coffee shop so the social worker can get to know Adam and I better and can help us with matching us with our child. There is then more paperwork and we have to start to get ready to travel to China. We go there to meet our child and sign off on their government documents, and then will have to return home for a few months while everything is finalized in China. Then Adam and I (or just one of us) will go to China to bring our baby home! We then have post-adoption meetings with the social worker for up to five years.
Thanks for everyone who has been supporting us through this journey! It has been a long process, but good things are worth waiting for :)
