This weekend was very busy, but so much fun. I made me realize how many blessings I have and how much I have to be thankful for. I had cousins come from all over the country come to join in celebrating my cousin Brianna's wedding. It was so nice to visit and catch up with them all.
Alexandria has become my second home. I love that I live so close to my parents and that we always have this vacation-land at our fingertips. Both AJ and Abby simply adore my parents and sister, so it is hard to tell who is more excited to come this way when we start loading the van. This time, once I had everything packed and started to put things in the van, both kids wanted to sit in their carseats for the half hour while I stuffed and shoved things into every nook and cranny.
AJ was cuddling with my mom this morning downstairs and he randomly asked her if she will always have the fish in their fish tank when he comes to visit. She replied that they probably would. He then got very serious and asked her if she would always be alive as long as he is alive. What a serious question and such a difficult response. She shared that she hoped to live a very long time, but that it was up to Jesus how long on earth we have. She couldn't recap their conversation without both of us welling up with tears. I am so appreciative and thankful that my kids will forever have these memories and experiences with all of their grandparents.
I am not sure what triggered these questions, but I did think that maybe it is because the other day I was sharing with my family how a friend of mine's nephew was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and that the doctors have only given him a few months to live. My friend had lost her baby only a few weeks before he was due 2 1/2 years ago, and it just breaks my heart to hear of the sorrow and sadness that she and now her brother and sister-in-law are needing to endure. My miscarriages have all been very sad and at times devastating. They have made me question and grow. They have brought some of the greatest sorrows that I have ever experienced in my life, and I don't know if anybody could really understand what I felt and went through unless they have been in similar situations. But then to have lost a child right as you are prepared for the start of a life together here on earth. Or to prepare to lose a child so young and so unexpectedly. I can't imagine the pain and sorrow they have experienced and will continue to experience. It just makes me so thankful and appreciative every day for this time I have with my children, friends, and families.
I know my last few posts have been on the struggles I have had lately and the things that have been difficult for me, but I do firmly believe that challenges in our lives do help us appreciate the gifts that the Lord has given us already, and it is true in my life. I love my kids so much that when I really stop to think about how much I love them, I can almost not handle the warmth that wells in my chest and the tears that overflow in my eyes. Adam is such a wonderful father and gives his all to provide for our family. My parents have been the rock in my life that I have always known to rely and depend on. I have my faith and God who is loving and forgiving. I have a job that I love and feel proud to do. I have extended family who I know would be there for me if I needed them. I have a house, vehicles, and food in my pantry. I have my health and I have some of the most amazing friends on this planet. These are the blessings I am thankful for.
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