Adoption Leave

Yesterday I found out some wonderful news!

It actually stemmed from something that made me quite frustrated to begin with.  When you adopt you can take advantage of something called an "adoptive leave".  This is similar to a maternity leave... except in my school district in means that you get three paid days (using sick days) home with your child.  The next 11 1/2 weeks are not only unpaid but insurance is not contributed by the district, so the amount I would have to pay out is ridiculous.

Thankfully my doctor was willing to write a note giving me MEDICAL approval to stay home with my child due to physical and emotional needs he might have.  While I am so grateful that he was willing to do this, this has been one of those experiences where the mama bear has come out of me wanting to defend my little cub.  I don't blame my school district.  I blame federal law (my district is just following the law that FMLA provides).  The reasoning for the law is maternity leaves are actually for the recovery of the moms.  That is why leaves might be longer for a woman who has a C-section compared with a woman who has a natural birth - she needs longer to physically recover.

This still doesn't make things sit better with me.  My child, my baby who will be almost two when I bring him home, will speak a different language, might be afraid of me, smells differently than I do, eats different types of foods that I eat, not to mention I will be out of the country almost three weeks bringing him home.  I just wish I didn't need to jump through hoops to have it acknowledged that there is a need for me to be home with my son.  Attachment disorders is a huge concern when adopting.  Even if I adopted domestically and had a newborn who was totally healthy, it would be nice to think that I would be granted the same leave options as a woman who delivered her child.  When I had Abby, totally naturally (not by choice, but because from start to finish she was born 45 minutes after I started labor and had to hold off on pushing because there wasn't even a doctor in the building who could deliver her) I felt fine about two days later.  Yet, this was a given maternity leave.

Regardless, I now have approval for a leave.  Depending on how our fundraising events go (grant and loan applications still out there, two garage sales, our fundraising page, and a few other misc. outlets), I might not be able to even take the full twelve weeks, but it does feel like such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that is our choice.  An added bonus - if we are able to bring Christian home in the summer (August is the earliest we are looking at) then the twelve weeks still doesn't start until school starts, which means I might even get longer to be home with our little man.  Every day is so precious.  On top of everything I listed above, we will have to start doctor appointments about a month after we get home to start preparing surgeries and therapies for his palate.  After we figure out medically a plan then we need to get an evaluation done through the school district.  We live in the Lakeville boundary, so it will be a very different perspective for me to be sitting at the table as a parent.

One other amazing gift to share and have documented is my conversation this morning with AJ.  I asked my barely seven-year-old what his plan was for his money that he makes selling lemonade at our garage sales.  He said, in the blink of an eye, that he wants to give half of his money towards bringing Christian home.  So proud of my giving and loving first-born.