Hanging out in the bathroom

What a difference a week makes!  We have been home for fifteen days and this last week has continued to bring great improvements.  I feel very confident that Peng Peng has established Adam and I as his parents.  We brought him to church this morning and the love that was poured on us and the smiles we all received made me just want to cry many times - God is so good to have given us this family.  I am curious what the percentage of families in our church who have adopted, but I think it is high.  My guess is maybe 15% of the members in our church have an adopted child.  So, many people "get" what we are going through - both the ups and the downs - and they also get what a gift our miracle is. 

I have realized how well God knows us.  I believe that God only gives you what you can handle.  Sometimes I think he gives me way more credit than I deserve.  I feel so frazzled lately - but in a blissfully exhausted way.  I can't tell you how many times I have asked my kids a question, like, "what would you like on your toast" or "would you like milk or water" - they have answered, and then I completely spaced that I even asked them the question let alone remembered their answer.  But, God knew our family well, and included in the word "family" I mean Peng Peng.  He is feisty. He is loving and affectionate.   He is determined.  He gives me a run for my money many times throughout the day - and hearing him say, "mama" just melts me.  Utterly and completely.

He continues to do well with AJ and Abby.  80% of the time he plays very very well with them, and they are always amazing with him.  We are still working on sharing, both toys and myself, and he does continue to bite, pinch, and hit, but the frequency has greatly decreased and his increase in communication has significantly helped improve his frustrations.  He has had several time outs and has really impressed me with understanding what they are for.  Last night AJ was sitting in a little fluffy red chair.  It was his when he was younger but in general it is Christians now.  Well, Peng Peng didnt like that and walked over and smacked AJ.  I put him in a time out and when his time was done I sat and talked and said, "do nice to your brother.  He loves you".  I put him down and he ran over to AJ (who was still sitting in the chair).  I was prepared for another smack before I could get there and another time out, but instead he tried to vocalize "nice and caressed his hand.  Yeah!

The weather has been beautiful lately, so we spent the afternoon outside yesterday.  It was so fun harvesting our final veggies from the garden.  Peng Peng especially enjoyed poking his fingers into the tomatoes and had juice all over himself!  The kids taught him how to roll down the hill, which was hysterical. 

I discovered that Signing Time is on Netflix - whooo hooo!  I have been doing weekly trips to the library to check them out, so this will save time and the money I would eventually get stuck with for late fees since I am forgetting so many things lately.  I have to start learning new signs because this kid is learning them so fast!  I am going to keep listing his signs because this is the only place I am really recording all of his progress and it is fun for me to see all these amazing gains.  New words are in bold.  all done, apple, ball, bath, bird, book, brush teeth, candy, cereal, clean up, cookie, cracker, dog, drink, eat, fish, hat, help, jump, milk, more, monkey, music, play, shoes, sleep, socks, slide, wait, walk, water, up

Our biggest accomplishment this week was sleep.  It is by no means better, and is most definitely the most stressful part of my day, but we have really come far this week.  When I am not in the room he cries. Hard.  I don't honestly think it is an attachment issue solely.  I think it is a combination of attachment, he likes to be in with the action, and he is almost two and doesn't want to sleep.  So, I bought a baby monitor and a little fish thing that has a light and we just hang out in my room for close to three hours a day.  About two hours for nap and an hour for bedtime.  I am sure you are reading this envious of our time like this, but trust me, I would much rather him be able to sleep peacefully without the worries of the nightmares and without worrying about him anxious to be abandoned again than to lay in my bed.  Plus, I lay here thinking of the billion other things I should do, including spend time with my other two kids.  Fortunately, nap time is way harder than bedtime, so AJ and Abby are at school 5/7 of these days.


Yesterday morning we were able to visit Adam's grandmother (Great-Grandma Giles) and Aunt Val.  The kids had so much fun, but I think us three adults were having just as nice of a time.  They are so sweet and such kind people, it was a gift to have their company for the morning.  We even hit up the second-hand store beforehand and I bought costumes for Halloween, clothes for my cousin's wedding in a few weeks, a baby monitor, a riding toy for Peng Peng, and a few dresses, all for under $100! 

Today I sat in the bathroom for the first hour of nap time.  When he cried I poked my head, said something reasurring, or sang a song, but I didn't sit in my bed by him because whenever I did he would laugh or be silly.  You might be thinking, "well, maybe he wasn't tired then"... but I know he was tired because less than twenty minutes before he ALMOST fell asleep on the car ride home from church.  We had to keep him awake by tickling him.  Yesterday he napped about five minutes in the car and then couldn't sleep...and we had a rough afternoon as a result of him being too tired.  So, if progress starts by sitting in the bathroom, I will take it.  Abby is at a friend's and AJ is getting bonus electronics time, Adam is on a motorcycle ride, and now I get to update on here, so it is a win-win for everyone! 

Two steps back and ten steps forward

This week has been a bit trying/ tiring, but overall has been filled with excitement, milestones, and gains.

Our biggest setback was attachment.  Peng Peng seems so secure 99% of the time.  The times that are hardest for my little buddy is when it is time to sleep and when I am not touching him.  This means that most of our day he is either being held by me or having some form of physical contact/ interaction with me.  I can handle the contact - I can't get enough of this little guy.  He loves playing around with his brother and sister and showing off his mad cuteness with strangers as long as they are not interacting with me.  He bit Abby pretty hard twice in the last week and has hit AJ several times as well.  All were when he wanted something they had or if I was hugging/ holding them.  I did need to go to the chiropractor today - my back has been killing me - it isn't used to carrying around 20 pounds ten hours a day :)  What I am having a hard time handling is sleep.  Peng Peng has had some long crying fits when we try laying him down.  To make a long story short, this little man does not like to lay down even when he is really tired.  We have tried MANY things, and I don't want to jinx myself, but today went the best it ever has gone.  We had a playpen in our room on the wall across our bed.  Now that is next to my side of the bed.  Compared with when AJ and Abby were this age, Peng Peng cries like he is scared out of his mind.  It is painful to hear and if I close my eyes I can hear it now.  Poor guy doesn't understand, doesn't know when or if we are coming back, the crib is different than his old one, smells and the surroundings are different, etc.  So, for now we are going to the basics.  I had read today that we should treat him as though he is a newborn when we came home - so now he is like a one week old baby.  Just like you wouldn't leave a one-week old baby to lay in the crib and cry it out we won't do that with him.  So, hopefully this change will really help him get over this obstacle and know how loved and safe he is with us.

Our second setback is his tummy.  Peng Peng continues to have approximately 10 diarrheas a day, poor guy.  So, now we are collecting stool samples to rule out a few things.  In the past week he lost .7 pounds.  That's a lot for a kid who is in the 4th percentile for weight in his age bracket.  He also has some fluid in both of his ears, which might lead to an ear infection.

Now, for the fun stuff.

Peng Peng continues to learn more and more signs.  Now he is consistently using signs for:  dog, fish, bird, monkey, water, milk, juice/ drink, cracker, cookie, candy, eat, more, book, sleep, all done, clean up, play, help, music, up, shoes, socks, hat, and nods his head yes and no. 

When he wants something from me or to get my attention he no longer goes, "uh-uh-uh" - he says, "mama". :)

He loves the dogs.  Maybe a little too much - he likes to sit on them and shake their paws and poke their noses, but we are working on being nice to the dogs and thankfully they have been awesome with him.

We are making progress with appointments.  So far we have had two appointments with our family doctor.  This Friday we have a meeting with the early childhood team with the Lakeville school district.  This is a preliminary meeting, but I am very hopeful that they will give approval to start an educational assessment.  Next Wednesday we have our appointment with the craniofacial team.  The following Wednesday with the international adoption clinic.

Peng Peng is allowing me to have him play more in close proximity than being held.  He loves playing with a handy manny tool set and some blocks.  He also loves the instruments.

We went to the apple orchard this week - what fun!  Peng Peng loved the animals and ate an entire apple!  He also enjoyed kicking the chickens because they would squawk, so we have to closely supervise him next time we see chickens. 

Bus stop time - Peng Peng loves waving hi to the kids on the bus and gets very excited when we chat with our friends who also go to the bus.

Car rides are actually enjoyable for us now.  At first he was not used to the car seat, but now he lets me strap him in and points to things outside.

Peng Peng is playing really well with his big brother and sister.  They have both been very patient and understanding of his needs and Abby especially goes out of her way to make him laugh.  She cried so hard one night because she just wanted to play more with her little brother.  His whole body gets tense with excitement when he sees them.

Books - I love books and storytime has always been a huge part of my routine with the kids.  Peng Peng wanted nothing to do with books in China.  I am not sure if he has seen books before or if he just didn't care, but lately he is showing his love for "more" and "more" books :)  He likes to sign words he sees in books.  Today it was "hat" and "dog".

So, even though we have had a few rough patches in our week, the good far outweigh the bad.  I realize how blessed we are with how well everything is going and what amazing children we have and what a supportive network of friends and family we have.  Just another great reminder how good God is.

Jumping In

This week was amazing.  Tiring, but amazing.  Monday morning was like a three-hour workout.  I haven't ever had to get both AJ & Abby ready for school, not to mention I was still getting over jet-lag, Peng Peng had been up about every hour the night before crying, and I had lunches to make... well, you get the picture.

So, I woke up on Monday at 6:00 and ran like a crazy woman until 8:50, when we ran to the bus stop about one minute before the bus arrived.  Tuesday morning was way worse with it being picture day, so I added baths, outfits were missing pieces, I couldn't get Abby's hair right, only to name a few things.  Wednesday morning we were doing good - so good that I had time to make ham & eggs for breakfast, only before I realized I forgot to make lunches and AJ had to use the bathroom for about five minutes right before the bus came.  Thursday was good - we made it on time with about a minute to spare.  Friday was great - kids even had time to play for a few minutes.  So, mornings were busy, but after a week we finally had a groove going enough that it was enjoyable.  I also look forward to my visits with other moms at the bus stop.  I have to admit, it makes me wish a bit that I could be a stay-at-home-mom.  I love having this time home with my kids, letting them sleep until they are ready to wake up, and to have time during the day to get projects and errands done making more time free in the evenings. 

Before we had left for China we had intentionally not committed to a whole lot upon our return home to make sure that we were helping Peng Peng adjust to his new life.  The kid just loves being around others and has adjusted so well to our family that we decided to just jump in to what will be our new normal.   So, jumping in we did.

Sunday we ran a few errands.  That evening AJ had a meltdown.  A major meltdown.  I think it was him finally releasing all of the emotions he had contained while we were gone for so long.  So, Sunday night was dedicated to affirming our love for him by telling him and showing him my love while not giving in to his requests (electronics after he lost the privilege due to being mean multiple times to Abby and disrespecting me). 

Monday night we laid low.  Tuesday AJ had soccer.  We went to play at the park early, so most of the night was at school.  Peng Peng and I ate lunch with Abby that day and I had so much fun showing him off to my coworkers and former students.  Abby was a trooper through this process as well because she had to share a lot of our attentions while we were at lunch.  Her teacher shared she cried some that afternoon because she missed us but otherwise handled us coming well.

Wednesday Peng Peng and I visited AJ.  He wanted us to join us at recess, so the three of us went out.  We watched him play some soccer and then had fun having about thirty students swarm around him trying to pass him balls for him to throw.  It was so sweet how kind the kids were with him, but my favorite was how protective and loving AJ was towards him.  That night we drove Abby's friend to gymnastics and AJ helped me entertain him while we were there.

Thursday we had our dear friend Katy, and her son Teagan, over for a playdate.  It was so nice catching up!  That night we had a church meeting and right after I took the three kids to sign AJ up for boyscouts. 

Friday our neighbors and friends came over and we enjoyed our time together after running a few errands.  That afternoon I took Peng Peng to the library to meet Beth, a very friendly librarian, and to reserve a few signing time dvd's.  We then watched AJ and Abby at karate (self defense) and then dropped Peng Peng off with Adam and I took AJ & Abby to a birthday party at the bowling alley. 

Today, Saturday, marks our first full week home.  We buried Adam's sister's ashes today at the cemetery and spent the afternoon visiting with his family.  This afternoon we are going to a fundraiser for a friend's cousin. 

I spent a lot of time this week talking with doctor's offices.  Peng Peng had a well-being check up at our family doctor on Monday.  He is 5th percentile for height, 8th for weight, and I believe 12th for head.  He still has tummy problems, but it seems to be getting a little bit better.  I confirmed appointments with the U of M teams - one for the craniofacial team and one for the international adoption clinic.  I have also called Lakeville Schools to get his evaluation started so we can start OT and Speech services as soon as possible.  In regards to communication, he can speak, "mama" and "up" (sounds like "u"), but he is really taking off with signing.  He doesn't do it very often in front of an audience, but at home he is consistently signing the words, "up, help, shoes, milk, hat, monkey, drink (for juice), doggie, fish, water, ball, and play.  Today we started working on "wait" because if I show him a finger for "wait a minute" he thinks I am saying "up" and gets frustrated.  "Music" is another word we started practicing because he seems to love music.  The signing is definitely helping with his frustration as he is really starting to communicate :)  He also nods his head yes and no.
 
Life is busier and crazier than ever, but I couldn't be happier.  I am glad we jumped right in.  If this is our new normal, I couldn't be happier.

Home Sweet Home

Life has been soooo busy, I have not had time to post these past few days, but I think more has happened in this past week than any other week in my life.  So, lots to share, but I will keep things short and to the point because I am tired :)

Hong Kong - wow.  What a spectacular place.  If we are able to go back to China one day, that is for sure a place I would go again.  It is stunningly beautiful, people speak English, and I felt safe driving around :)  It was also the cleanest city we had been to.

Entering Hong Kong required a long drive (about three hours) and then going through customs since it is it's own entity and not really China.  We stayed at a lovely hotel that was very close to the airport.  Our decision to go was the right one.  It saved us about six hours of travel on our travel day (we would have had one flight to Hong Kong and then a layover of about four hours).  We were at this hotel for two nights, a total of about 36 hours.  We went swimming at the pool, enjoyed two breakfasts, and two "free" dinners.

Adam and I did take Peng Peng to "The Peak".  We took a taxi about 30 minutes from our hotel and then a tram up a super steep hill.  At the top was the peak.  It was basically a large shopping mall at the top of this super tall peak, but the view was beautiful.  As part of our pass we were able to go to the very top of the mall and get to look over all of Hong Kong.  We got little ear pieces that we were able to listen to the history and background of different buildings and land marks.

Traveling was brutal, but it actually went very well.  Our son still has something wrong going on with his tummy, so he has diarrhea about ten times a day.  Being on an airplane for 12 1/2 & 3 hours with this component was not fun.  Peng Peng slept twice about two hours at a time, on the first flight, and almost the entire second flight.  He was a true trooper with all this travel.  Adam and I got about four hours of restless sleep over this 30 hour travel window.  When we finally landed in California I could have kissed the ground.  When we went through immigration, the officer opened up his sealed document we had gotten at the Consulate in China and stamped his visa on his passport.  This moment is when he officially became a US citizen.  I could have cried, but I was too tired to do so :)

Seeing the kids at the MS Airport was unlike anything else I have ever experienced.  They ran up to us for a quick hug on their way to hug and greet their brother.  He had such a sparkle in his eyes.  I think he recognized them from the skyping we did, almost twice a day daily.  They were soooo excited to see him and talk with him and try to make him laugh, and he was in all his glory being doted on by these two amazing children.  They had made a big sign and held it with pride as we walked up to them.  We laughed, hugged, and played while Adam and my dad got the luggage.  We had asked for others to not join us for this moment for two reasons:  1) We wanted to keep this special for our children 2) we didn't want to overwhelm Peng Peng.  I am glad we kept this small and intimate.  It truly was a very special moment for our family.  In hindsight, I really think he would have been okay having more people there because he loves a crowd, but without knowing his personality that well yet, we didn't want to push him over the edge.

On the way home Peng Peng was not happy about the car seat.  He had never been in a car seat before and didn't like being constricted like that.  Fortunately, we were home in about thirty minutes.  There was so much to do when we got home, plus Peng Peng was terrified of our two noisy & excited dogs, so the chaos level was a bit much.  We were all exhausted, but excited.  My parents stayed at a hotel and everyone crashed by 10:00 (I actually fell asleep after around 1:00 after running around the house trying to put some things away).  Sunday we stayed in and just enjoyed being with one another.  My parents and sister helped with some projects and final touches, then that afternoon the kids, Adam, and I took a trip to a local Asian market.  The kids were so glad to have us home, as were we.  As much as I am eternally thankful for our time in China and having the opportunity for Adam and I to bond with Peng Peng, that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do - stay away from AJ & Abby for three weeks.  I missed them so much.  I was constantly thinking about/ worrying about possible problems we might have in China, with our travels, with Christian's medical needs, or with the kids back home.  Things went so smoothly though, thankfully those concerns were unnecessary.

Monday Peng Peng and I had fun walking the kids to the bus stop.  We had an eventful day while they were at school - met Abby for lunch and got to show Peng Peng off to a lot of coworkers and students, well-being check up at the doctor's office, picked up probiotics at the store, finished putting away things in our suitcase, etc.  Monday night was a bit rough - I think AJ finally was able to release some of his emotions he held in with us being gone.  As hard as it was, I am glad he worked through it.  He was such a good sport with us leaving and having so many changes at the start of his school year, but I am sure it was hard on him.  I have tried really hard to make this as smooth of a transition for everyone, but I knew there would be some bumps along the road.  Abby has actually handled the transition exceptionally well.  Her teacher today shared that if she wasn't told ahead of time, she never would have guessed Abby's parents were out of the country.  She has done amazingly well.  She did share that Abby had some tears yesterday though when we left school after lunch - Abby was missing me and wanted to see me again.  It breaks my heart to cause them stress and emotions, but I hope that in the long run all that I have put them through will only make them stronger and better people for it.

Today was very low key and productive.  I got the house mostly back to where I want it to be.  We had a busy morning - it was picture day, which is always a difficult morning (baths, nice clothes, hair brushed nice, pack lunches that have no red foods, etc.).  I goofed up many times - couldn't get Abby's hair right, couldn't find Christian's socks, made AJ wear pants he didn't like after trying on about six pairs that didn't fit, etc... but once we got through the morning everything went very well.  Peng Peng and I ate lunch with AJ, then he asked if we wanted to watch him play soccer at recess.  Recess was a blast.  We watched AJ a little while, but Peng Peng had quite the following.  There were about thirty kids following him around and he ate up the attention.  AJ stopped playing to hang out with his little brother.  He amazed me with his patience and his protectiveness.  He allowed people to hand balls to Peng Peng and for him to throw them, but made sure he had enough space and was having fun.  He was so gentle and kind with him, I couldn't have been prouder.  Tonight we really did get to watch him play soccer at his actual game, which he did awesome at.  Abby had fun rolling down the hills and Peng Peng kept trying to shout, "Go AJ!" while watching him play.  The librarian at school had signed out a few books for us to borrow about China, so tonight instead of our regular chapter books we enjoyed reading of adventures in China about about a family who adopted two girls.  It was so wonderful to snuggle with them and give them some special attention while their brother peacefully slept next door.

I have been so overwhelmed by our friends and family who have poured out their love and affections towards us in this process.  Walking into school these past two days and seeing friends and coworkers offer hugs and smiles means the world to me.  It was also a blast getting to show our completed family at soccer practice tonight.  As tired as I still am and with all I still need to do to get things back to a normal level of cleanliness, I couldn't be happier.  I think it has been about nine years of waiting to feel like our family is complete, and now I can honestly say, "Our family is complete".  I do wonder what God has in store for us.  I feel like more facets of adoption might be in our future - probably more distant than near, but who knows.  I know we are done having children, but I would love to find ways to stay involved in adoption.  Only God knows right now what that might be.  I do look forward to these next 2 1/2 months off, but I also look forward to going back to work knowing that my mom will be watching Christian for the rest of this year and all of his needs will be met.

Life is good.  

Day 15: Stopping to Smell the Roses

This morning was spent packing and organizing for our final travels of our trip.  We left the hotel at 3:00, picked up Christian’s visa, and then drove for four hours to Hong Kong.  I tried to pack things in a way so we don’t have to unpack anything other than one suitcase for these final two days in our journey.  Hopefully that works for us, because I am a bit tired of unpacking and packing J 

I was nervous about getting our visa because about a month ago there was a group of families who had to re-arrange all of their final travels and stay in China five extra days because there was a computer glitch.  In the past few weeks I have heard others have also had complications, so this was a major deciding factor in us delaying our trip by two days (that and we are able to save six hours of travel on an already long way home by skipping the first layover, which was going to be Hong Kong).  As far as the visa, I wanted to have one extra day for a cushion in case there was a delay.  But, fortunately, no delay for us!  We had to wait ten minutes once the office opened at 3:30, then we were off to Hong Kong. 

The drive was long – Christian was not too happy about the car ride.  It was well worth it though.  This is by far THE most beautiful place I have ever seen, and that is just from what I have seen from the interstate.  We have all of tomorrow free with nothing to do other than what we want to do.  We decided to go and see “The Peak”.  I am also working on Adam to go on a river cruise, which I heard is $2/ person and well worth the time. 

I miss AJ & Abby so much and I can’t wait to start what is going to be our new routine.  We have so enjoyed this time with Christian and as much as I miss the kids, I know this was the right thing for our family to do.  Not only have the kids started school and had this time in their classrooms, but we have just connected so much – not only with Peng Peng, but with each other.  It has been like a second honeymoon in a way.  Adam has worked sooo hard this past year helping save up for this trip and I have been so busy with the kids, school, applying for grants, fundraising, and adoption paperwork, that we have barely seen each other.  Adam told me I have used up all our dates for the next ten years, but I am thinking this might be the beginning of stopping to smell the roses a little bit more and to make time to be together.  I don’t think he or I have ever had hours to just kill and relax.  It is kind of nice!

Day 14: Oath & Safari Park

Today started out very early.  We left the hotel at 7:00 and went to the consulate.  This was the big event that our entire trip was based around.  We filled out some paperwork with two other families and then swore (not bad words, but promised) to raise Christian as a US citizen.  I honestly don’t even remember what I promised because he was a little wiggly, but I have the papers to prove that it happened J  The waiting area had a few play toys, and Peng Peng had fun playing.  There were two children, around the ages of AJ and Abby, and he just adored them.  He kept smiling and trying to impress them with his silliness.  At one point he ran up to the boy and hugged him.  I couldn’t help but think about how great he is going to get along with his big brother and sister when we get home. 

After we finished at the consulate’s we went to a safari park.  I would go so far to say that it was even better than the Animal Kingdom at Disneyworld that we went to last year.  We saw an elephant show, Pandas (the giant ones and red ones, both of which are endangered), koalas, Adam fed a giraffe, and so much more.  It was magical to see Christian so excited with so many things.  He really really loves animals and I think he is especially going to love the fish tanks.  His whole body gets rigid in excitement when he sees animals or fish.  We also went on a safari ride on a car/ train type of thing.  We saw hippos, rhinos, lions, cheetahs, and more.  We spent six hours there and were all exhausted when we left.  The rest of our evening was spent washing final laundry and packing for our adventures tomorrow.

Day 13: Medical Exam, Old Chen House, and Temple

Today was a very big day.  We started off the day by leaving early for Christian’s medical exam.  I was anticipating this visit for several reasons.  I was a little worried that the doctors would find something to be concerned about since Christian has been so sick this week.  I was also worried that this could result in our having travels home being delayed – which would most likely happen if he had a fever.  I didn’t know how my little man would handle the appointment either.  I have heard of kids having major aversions to doctors after having already had a surgery for his lip and not knowing what those experiences were like for him in the past.

 When we got to the clinic we were able to get in a really short line specific for people who are adopting.  While the other line had dozens of people sitting and waiting, we had less than two minutes of a wait time.  We did meet two other families waiting with their adoptive children.  One lady from Pennsylvania chatted with us for a while – and was here finalizing her fifth adoption!

After our appointment we went on a little sight seeing.  We first saw a Temple.  Unfortunately, my camera died, so I have no pictures, but it was just stunning.  The details were amazing, the trees were hundreds of years old, and the temple was built 1500 years ago!  People were there praying and worshipping, which was sad to see for me since I believe the only one to pray to is God, but at the same time it was inspiring to see people there on a week day so dedicated to their faith.  Monks were chanting and incense was burning.  I learned that the purpose of incense is to send your prayers up to Heaven.  People had brought food for offerings.  Different foods and items were requests for different things (I just remember that peanuts are for boys).

Next we went to the Old Chen House.  Jackie Chen is related to the family who owned this property.  It was so beautiful.  They had carved ivory (which you can’t make any more, but you can sell with certain paperwork documenting it was made before it was illegal), amazing needlework that looked like paintings, and other artwork. We had a painting made for Christian with both his Chinese and American name for one of his seventeen gifts.  Christian was hitting the wall, so we skipped a third tour option of a crafters market and went back to the hotel room just after noon for some rest.  When he woke up we were able to go swimming at the beautiful pool at the hotel.  It was a nice and relaxing night in.

Day 12: Mid-Autumn Festival

Today was a really fun day.  Peng Peng seemed to feel much better, so we decided to go on some adventures.  We have really missed having other families to connect with, but with him being so sick, it really was a blessing.  We can go at our own pace and our guide is great. 

This morning we slept in, ate a feast, I mean breakfast, and then went to the Pearl Market.  This is a big shopping mall filled with expensive jewels and pearls.  Kathy brought us to the place she thought was best priced and we bought a necklace/ earring set for Abby (real ones, just not great quality) and Adam bought me my first pair of pearls (necklace and earrings).  We bought Christian a blue gem that we will have my mom help us make into a necklace for one of his gotcha year's celebrations.  We then went to Shaolmin Island.  It is beautiful there.  It was an Island controlled by the British until after world war two (even the local Chinese were refused access there).  The buildings look European and even the ground is covered in cobblestones.  We shopped for a few hours and bought several gifts for Christian and a gift each for AJ and Abby.  There were several professional photographers and models walking around - our guide shared that magazines often go there for photo shoots.  We were approached by three teenagers who needed to practice their Engish for a five minute conversation - it was fun talking with them!

We came home and rested for a while and then at night we got to go on the Pearl River Cruise.  We ate dinner (buffet China-style where we were pushed and shoved to get food).  The food was good and we enjoyed a clown for entertainment.  Christian even got to spin a ball on his fingertip as part of the show.  I couldn't help but shed a tear - I can't get over that it has only been one week that we have been together.  Just over that he had only left the confines of his orphanage for one field trip and otherwise had known nothing else.  I can see how overwhelming things are for him at times, but he just soaks it in like a sponge.

While on the cruise we got to go outside and look at the sites.  There was a beautiful tower that lights up in all kinds of colors, and we looked at the moon.  Today is a big holiday in China.  It is called the Mid-Autumn Festival and it celebrates family and being together.  Moon cakes are a common dessert (made with beans and fruit) and people look at the moon and release lanterns into the sky symbolizing we all look at the same moon and are all connected.  I thought about my kids back home, who I miss so incredibly much right now, about our friends and family who have supported and encouraged us throughout this journey, and about our son's birth mom, who is most likely looking up at the same moon wondering where he is and what his life will become.

When we came home, we were tired, but needed to give Peng Peng his three medicines.  We spaced them out as best as we could and he played like a crazy child (in a good way) in between.  Once snuggles were happening in bed with his bedtime bottle he ended up all of a sudden throwing everything up.  I feel so bad giving him all this medicine, but I must say he is starting to feel better - Praise the Lord!  I am optimistic that come our big travels home he will feel up to it all :)

Peng Peng is now consistently signing "more" "help" "fish/ water (he uses the same sign for both things) and is now learning "shoes" "up" and "all done".  We learned, "Mayola" which means "no more" and Ienee (rhymes with Heini) which means "I love you".  We use those two phrases a lot :)

Day 11: Sick Boy

Today we had plans to go on a big tour of a few local sites in Guanzhou, but our little guy was up most of the night sick and when he woke up he was a bit of a mess.  So sick that by the time we rushed through breakfast we decided he was not up for anything short of hanging out at the hotel and resting.  So, we called our guide and said we were going to stay in.

Peng Peng was not up to much playing, and usually once he played a few minutes he would come and give one of us a hug and just lay there for a while.  We did a few baths, which he really enjoyed and seemed to loosen up the gunk in his chest a bit.  He also took a three hour nap on my chest (laying flat woke him up coughing and he had a hard time going to bed afterwards.  We took a few walks with him in his stroller around the hotel.  We also played chase in the room a few times, which moved things along in his tummy.  I stopped counting the number of times he had the Big D after his tenth or so diaper, but my guess is we easily went through twenty diapers yesterday. 

We ate snacks in the hotel room for lunch and for dinner we did a free lunch in the executive lounge.  Peng Peng likes to eat, even when he shouldn't be hungry, so Adam and I took shifts eating upstairs while the other stayed here and played with him.  I brought my book and enjoyed some peace and quiet and Adam ended up sitting with a lady from Michigan who was here buying jewelry and bringing it home to resell as her business. 

One thing that was very exciting tonight was when we put tv on at night and Frozen came on.  Peng Peng sat up and was very very excited.  He must have seen this show before because he was anticipating some of the things and loved Sven, the reindeer.  I thought I would show him how cool of a mom I am by singing along, since I know every word of every song, but he immediately gave me a dirty look and waved his hands at me and barked some orders telling me to stop.  We will have to work on him getting used to me singing a lot :) 

He cried a little tonight going to bed, but fell asleep within a few minutes.  Praying for all these medicines to start kicking in!

Day 9: Hidden Treasures in our own backyard

Today was a lovely day.  We slept in, had breakfast, and walked to the park that is less than ten minutes away.  I thought it was "just a park" but boy was I wrong.  This place was magical.  It was huge - maybe 100+ acres?  There were flowers, weeping willows, coi ponds, statues, musicians, lots of children, and even an amusement park in the back corner.  Adam felt it was a bit too over-stimulating for him, but I loved it.  The musicians were using instruments I have never seen before.  I kept trying to talk him into asking one of the musicians singing if we could try a song and to sing "I'll fly away," which we have sung a few times at church together, but he said no :(

We noticed a lot of grandparents walking with their grandchild.  It is very common in China for retired parents to move in with their child and to watch the grandchildren while the parents work.  School runs from Monday-Saturday at five hours a day, but the grandparents had little ones with them.  It was very sweet.  They were very gentle and kind to the children.  There was lots of love and tenderness today.  Adam and I chose to wear our badges that we were given to show people if they stare or seem curious that states we are adoptive parents and that this is our child.  It felt good to have a way to show people who tried to strike up conversations. 

One lady tried to see if Christian would go to her by putting out her arms.  It was very uncomfortable to me and I told Adam it really made me upset.  Doesn't she know that my child has only been mine a few days and how confusing it is to test him and see if he would go to her or not?  Fortunately he wanted to stay with me and I politely ran away from her (walked very quickly).   I was a bit surprised to see the mama bear come out with a grammy wanting to smile to my adorable child, but it did.  I can handle the stares because I know people are curious and we are very visibly different than what people are used to seeing here, but to mess with my kid right now just doesn't sit right.

We spent the morning at the park.  We let Christian walk and walk and run and climb and when he couldn't go anymore we would give him a snack or drink and then go for more.  He has an endless supply of energy, and we were happy to see him have so much fun without constantly telling him, "no" or "be careful".  I think his favorite thing at the park was the coi fish in the huge pond.  He learned how to sign "fish" today and used the word many many times to get to go down by the water to see the fish.  Peng Peng is so smart.  I can't get over how fast he is understanding our English and picking up on sign language.  You can just see the excitement and joy in his eyes when you understand what he is trying to say.

Once he was consistently rubbing his eyes we went back to the hotel room.  I started cleaning/ packing for our travels tomorrow and Adam walked the mile to Walmart to get some more water and snacks while Peng Peng napped.  We then hung out and played in the hotel for about an hour before we went back to the park.  Peng Peng has not been feeling very good and I think the morning might have been a bit too much fun.  He mostly wanted to be carried, so we walked around the water a few times, had some snacks, and went on one amusement ride.  It was like a little roller coaster that you can go on very very slowly.  Each car gets to hold a net and try to catch the balls blowing out of the fish in the middle.  I caught the balls, then Peng Peng took them out of the net and threw them back.  He had more fun throwing than anything.  I think he is going to love baseball and sports in general!  Tonight we also let Peng Peng pick out a toy from a little vendor.  I wish I could have captured his smile and the twinkle in his eyes when he got to help pick out and buy what might be his very own first toy that he picked, but I was too busy enjoying the moment in person.  He hugged that little plastic truck for over half an hour. 

We finally found the turtle restaurant.  The food was good, but maybe a bit too adventurous for my liking.  The shrimp still had eyes on them, the tea was loose in my water, the chicken might have been joints, and the rice was called "rice with stupid egg".  :)  I toyed with eating turtle just for the experience, but when I turned to the page with the pictures of turtles on it, I couldn't do it!  In high school I had a pet turtle, Rosie, and I just kept picturing poor Rosie eating out of my hand.  So, stupid egg and chicken joints it was.  Peng Peng's cough was pretty bad tonight - it sounds like the beginning of croup maybe.  He is also very congested, so I am worried about bronchitis.  I wouldn't be so worried if we were back home, but we are in a bit of a tricky position to get medical help here at this point.  He is a trooper though and other than his coughing, runny nose, and almost throwing up when he gets too congested, you would never guess he is sick.  His nose has been bleeding ever since we met him as well - very faintly, but visible every once and again - so I put an email out to the U of M craniofacial team who we have our scheduled appointment with on October 1st to see if I can bump up the appointment to the week we return. 

After dinner we came back to the hotel.  We met Vivian to get Christian's very own passport.  She video taped herself saying a few words so we could practice them without feeling like fools.  We also just sat and talked for a little while as Christian practiced pitching by throwing blocks across the room.  The kid has a good arm!  We talked about how blessed we are.  Vivian said everything has gone exceptionally well for us and how she has been really amazed with how easy everything has been.  Adam shared with her how many people are praying for and supporting us from back home and how we believe in the power of prayer.  It was a great conversation and a good reminder of how all our friends and family are actively helping us from across the world. 

We ended our night with his favorite activity - bath time!  He splashed and splashed and splashed some more.  We are still working on sitting in the tub, so after two warnings we ended bath time a little early for his next favorite activity - eating :)  We actually had a warm bottle of formula for him and he took turns snuggling in our arms.  He had a little harder time falling asleep, I think because of how he is feeling, but a few bedtime songs did the trick and now he is picture perfect adorable sleeping in his fireman pajamas :)

I am so glad we went to the park today.  I was initially disappointed that we couldn't go on a big adventure - I had researched a few ideas ahead of time.  With Christian not feeling well and another big day of traveling ahead tomorrow, it really was the best thing for us to do.  Christian loved it and we got to be outdoors without worrying about getting run over.  Plus, it was just beautiful.  Off to bed and then to pack early in the morning. 

Day 10: A day of firsts

Today started and ended pretty rough, but there were lots of great moments in the middle.  Peng Peng is pretty sick.  If we were home at this point I would have taken him in to the doctor's.  But, we are not home.  All I can do is share my concerns with my guides.  They then relay that information to a pharmacist, who is like the local doctor here, and then trust that they know my son best without meeting or seeing him.  Yesterday Peng Peng woke up from coughing throughout the night and when we tried to give him his Diarrhea medication in his bottle, he took it, then a minute later threw it all up.  He was coughing so hard and his diarrhea was so bad we decided to have him skip breakfast and took turns going for food while the other entertained him.  We left Zhengzhou at 10:00 and arrived at the airport around 11.  Our flight took off at 12:50 and we arrived in Guangzhou at 3:00.  Traffic was long and we ended up at our new hotel close to two hours later, at almost 5:00. 

During those travels our buddy was a real trooper.  He was tired, hungry, sick of taking medications, and coughing so hard he was sweating several times.  But, he laughed.  He smiled.  He played.  AND he kissed me.  I have loved torturing him with my kisses, and he actually seems to greatly enjoy these moments, but today he kissed me for the first time.  Be still my heart. 

Peng Peng also got to ride an airplane for the first time.  We had brought some toys from home centered around airplanes for these trips and brought some toys with us for the plane ride.  He pointed and laughed in excitement when we looked out the window at the other airplanes.  He also learned how to sign airplane and help today.  He usually says, "Aya" for "help" - which we think is the Chinese word for help. 

The plane ride was actually really good, but every day closer to traveling home makes me a little more nervous for the long flight we will have with him on our lap.  I am sure we will be thankful we saved the $1,000, but just thinking of that duration with him confined to a 4' squared space scares me a bit.  Peng Peng's favorite activity on the plane was shoving a bun into a cup and then holding it upside down over his head and anticipating it falling on him.  It was very cute.  Adam and I have learned how to work the crowds, so we were able to get on and off everything just fine.  People were very sweet with us having a baby too - a man got up out of his seat for me to sit with him on my lap during the bus ride to the plane.  Very sweet as I am sure he waited in line just to get that coveted space.

Kathy is the name of our guide here in Guangzhou.  When we leave here on Thursday by van to Hong Kong we will be without any guide the final two days.  Kathy is helping us with our doctor's visit on Tuesday and is helping us get Christian's visa for travel as well.  She is also taking us on a few tours.

The hotel here is magnificent.  It is extremely classy and spacious and lots of people speak English, which is helpful for these crazy Americans who traveled with fewer than five Chinese words in their vocabularies.  People don't stare at us here either - or if they do they are much more discrete.  Our room is awesome.  We have a big tv in the middle of the room that swivels and serves as a barrier to the living space, so lots of room for our active boy to run and play and if somebody (ie Adam) wants to take a nap they can do so with a little noise in the background.

We did an upgrade for our room, and I am so glad that we did.  We had gotten a Marriott card about a month before we traveled, and as a result one of our rooms in Hong Kong will be free and we get free wifi for the whole week instead of paying $15 a day.  We also get a free breakfast, which would have cost about $20 and access to the executive suite, which we ate our free dinner at with delicious foods and endless pop and water (a few of which might have ended up in our diaper bag for a drink in the room later).  So, we were pretty proud of our decision to upgrade.  The major purpose of the upgrade was the bigger space, but well worth the money.  We walked around and explored the hotel and there are lots of great things.  There is a huge pool on the fourth floor, which can be seen from our hotel room.  There is also a play room with balls and a slide for Peng Peng. 

Kathy went to two pharmacies last night to get medication for his cough.  I am almost positive it is bronchitis.  Kathy thought so too.  Adam thought I was a nervous nelly, but was not about to tell me no to this medication as he is just as sleep deprived as I am.  You can feel something, maybe fluid in his lungs, when you hold your hand to his chest.  So, now we are up to four medications twice a day with an additional medication in the middle of the day.  One of them can be mixed with formula, but the other three cannot and have to be forced into his mouth with a syringe.  Not ideal for any parent/ child, but especially not when we can't reason with him yet due to a language barrier and he has not fully established trust with us yet.  I can't use, "first this terrible medicine, then the yummy sucker"  he just doesn't understand.  But, as we are consistently seeing, he is a trooper.  He cries when we give the medicine and usually lectures me afterwards by walking away (stomping away) and yelling while pointing at me, "Ay Mama!  Ay Mama!".  After a minute or so he can be redirected and is his happy normal self. 

Little buddy did not want to go to sleep tonight, but eventually fell into a deep sleep, as did we!

Day 8: museum

This morning started with – you guessed it – buffet breakfast J  We slept a little later today after staying up so late last night.  Sleeping in was fun, although if you really think about it, just over a week ago that same time would have been the time I go to bed.  Gosh, my body is thrown off!

Breakfast went well.  We are getting smarter when we go it.  You would think I never had a child before, let alone two.  Two days ago I brought nothing down to breakfast and we made a mess.  Yesterday I remembered wipes, but no bib.  Today I came prepared.  I was so prepared that a waitress laughed when she saw my open diaper bag because I had about nine diapers in there.  I laughed too – then quickly shut the bag when she walked away J

After breakfast we met Vivian and took a taxi to Henan’s Museum.  It was beautiful.  There was so much rich history here I could have spent an entire day walking around.  As much as I would have loved it, our time here is really about Christian.  We moved fairly quickly and took turns letting him walk while the other read information.  Several artifacts date to about 3,000 BC.  It was a well-organized museum with artifacts categorized into eight rooms in chronological order. 

Christian especially had fun running up and down the ramp in one room, and all I could picture was trying to take him in for stitches.  I don’t think I am normally as worried about my kids getting injured, although he is maybe a little more wild than AJ or Abby from what I can remember, but being overseas and not having my own doctor around and insurance totally clear makes me a bit paranoid.  Christian also enjoyed riding on the footrest of his stroller.  We forgot snacks (I was supposed to fill a cup in the breakfast room, but forgot), and he drank his juice on the way there, so we didn’t really have any options while there to keep him busy.  By 11:30 we were ready to go.  We came home to the hotel and laid Christian down (he had fallen asleep on the ride home).  Another day of eating snacks for lunch (breakfast is kind of like our main meal of the day) and laying low.  I have finally caught up on all of our adventures and am finally up to date J  Whoohoo to that!  We played in the room for a few hours.  Vivian dropped off more paperwork to look over so she can make any revisions tomorrow if needed before we fly out on Saturday morning to our next city.  Then we decided to try out a restaurant that serves turtle (kind of makes me sad thinking about it – I LOVE turtles, but we are running out of options of places to eat and we do want to try local cuisine). 

We thought the restaurant was left, then right.  Sounds easy, right?  We must have misunderstood the directions, because after about an hour of defying death walking around with a loaded diaper bag and a 20 month old on our hips, we ended up back at our hotel without finding it.  Right next to our hotel is a holiday inn, so we ate there to mix things up.  The food was great.  I had a warm smoothie (side note:  I have learned two things about liquids here in China – they do not drink during meals.  Instead they wait thirty minutes or so.  They do not drink cold liquids – even smoothies).  I tried talking Adam into the chicken feet that I saw in the menu, but he was not having it.  So, we went with the basics and enjoyed chicken wings (very different than what we are used to), a teriyaki chicken, rice, steamed egg (looked kind of like soup), and green beans. 

When Adam went to pay for dinner I walked around in the waiting area with Christian.  He saw a picture of a girl who looked very similar to one of the nannies at his orphanage.  He ran up to the picture and started saying, “mama!”  “Mama”.  This kind of equated to stabbing my heart with a knife.  I am so so happy and eternally thankful for the loving that was doted on our boy.  I wouldn’t trade that for anything.  It does make me sad though that when he is calling me “mama” he is really just saying, “woman” – It is common for kinds at orphanages to call all the women “mama”.  (side note:  the other day we asked our guide what yeah yeah means because we had heard him saying it when he was upset with us a few times and she said that means “grandfather”.  There was an older man at his orphanage that I have seen pictures of with Christian, and I am guessing that is what he called him).  Really, just very bittersweet. 

When we came home Christian splashed in the water, I mean had a bath, and then fell asleep taking his bottle.  He only napped for about half an hour today, so he was ready to snooze by around 7:00, which is why I was finally able to catch up on our adventures. 

As much as I am enjoying myself here, I am really missing the kids back home.  I have savored every minute we can skype together and am so grateful that we can do this for free because we spend a good half hour+ a day doing this.  What I love most is when they talk with their brother.  They can make him laugh even though they are around the world.  They are already such a good big brother and sister.  It sounds like school is really going well for them, which is awesome.  They both love it there and I couldn’t have been in a better situation having them attend the same school where I work.  School is like our second home and they are both not only really comfortable there, but I know they are loved on by their teachers and at home with my mom.  I still miss them though.  I think about them in the middle of the day and pray for them constantly.

As much as I miss the kids, I am so thankful for this time to bond with Christian and for Adam and I to spend so much time together.  It has been like a second honeymoon in a way – eating all these meals together, doing fun activities together, etc.  This past year has been so busy and full trying to prepare for this very moment that we have just not had much time to connect.  So, for that I am very thankful.  I am also so thankful for this chance for us to really bond with our son.  We are growing closer by the minute and I have a feeling that when we get home he will instantly connect with AJ and Abby. 

Day 7: Aquarium & Play!

After the past few days being spent with many appointments and so intense, today was the perfect day to play and just enjoy one another. And boy did we ever!

The day started with a bath for Christian.  I was expecting lots of resistance after our bath two days ago, but I needed to give him one – as cute and cuddly as he is – he can be STINKY!  So, I started the water and let him play with the water as it came out of the faucet.  He LOVED it, so I seized the moment and undressed him and put him in with about two inches of water on the bottom.  AJ and Abby love playing in water, but I don’t think I have ever seen a child enjoy splashing in the water as much as this kid.  He splashed so hard and as a result his face and my face were dripping with water.  Boy did he laugh.  Belly laughing, cheeks hurting laughing.  He also likes to stand up in the water, which about gives me a heart attack each time because this kid is wriggly in general, but slimy + wriggly = trip to the ER, and we don’t want that!  We practiced sitting about three hundred seventy-nine times, and eventually, for the most part, he sat and played.  We brought a few little floaty boats from target and he loves to throw these in the water and watch them splash, then slide around on his butt to get the boats.  Very fun.  I also snuck in a packet of Aveeno’s oatmeal powder for skin problems, which is good because poor guy has a rash all over his head, forehead, and neck.  Most likely this is from the heat and his non-stop sweating, but he needed something on his skin and I had read it suggested to pack something for this (along with about 200 lbs of other items). Once he started to get cold it was time to get out, get dressed, and head to the good ol’ buffet. 

People are very friendly here.  As uncomfortable as it can be at times getting stared at nonstop by passerby’s, it really is pretty special. Most people look with true excitement and wonder when the see a foreign family adopting one of their own.  Maybe it is because they know that most children who are adopted have special needs.  Maybe it is because they are happy for the child thinking they will have more opportunities than they had.  Maybe it is because he is so cute they just want to look and smile.  Maybe they wonder our story.  Maybe they don’t really care and we are being overly-sensitive J 

We met our guide at 9:30 and took a taxi ride to the aquarium, which is about a thirty minute drive away.  When we pulled up, before we were even out the door, a lady was trying to sell us a light-up toy.  It was only 10 yuan, which equates to less than $2, and was super cute, but we didn’t even have time to think before she put it in my hand.  I said “No thank you” and tried to give it back.  I asked my guide if it was free for coming here, and she said, “No, you have to pay or give it back”.  So I tried to give it back to her and she didn’t take it.  I was about ready to set it on the ground when she took it and put it in Christian’s hand.  This made us upset and we told her “No” more firmly and gave it back to her (we ended up caving and bought one for him on the way out from a different lady).  I did not care at all for that level of pushiness.  Fortunately he was so confused by the whole thing I don’t think he realized he had a super cool flashy toy in his hands. 

The aquarium was awesome.  It was very clean and well kept.  We were able to feed the coi fish and could have fed sea turtles lettuce.  We saw a great sea lion show and on the way out watched a Mermaid show where three people were dressed in costumes and danced/ swam under the water.  It was beautiful and was done to music.  There were a ton of fish.  The gift shop was cute and very reasonably priced.  I couldn’t believe it, but they had tons of little turtles in plastic containers that you could buy.  If only I could have gotten some of those babies in through customs, I totally would have bought a baker’s dozen!  We got a little ice cream.  We were going to give Christian some, but Vivian told us that Chinese do not eat anything cold with a tummy ache.  I don’t know if I believe this or not, but I have appreciated all she has done so much I wouldn’t want to disrespect her by trying otherwise.  So, Adam and I ate ice cream and Christian got a cookie snack from our diaper bag.  We were all happy J 

We came home pretty beat.  Christian took a three hour nap, which was awesome, but it also meant he couldn’t fall asleep until about 10:00 at night – oops J  When he woke up he was in such a wonderful mood!  We laughed and played so hard, it was really just a perfectly marvelous day.  We played hide and seek (usually he hid in the same spot and would call, “Mama!” so I could find him), Peek-a-boo (with anything covering his eyes), daddy protect me from mama, blow the balloon and let the air out, spin mama in the chair, spin the bottle in the chair, and see how fun it is when mom and dad both kiss me at the same time!  Even with all this fun Christian also showed us what that twinkle in his eye means – mischief!  It is very appropriate for his age, and adding in our language barrier and the fact that he can only utter a few sounds due to his cleft palate, it makes sense that we are going to see some behaviors.  One thing he did a few times when he was frustrated was pinch or hit.  Once we were cuddling in the rocking chair and out of the blue he pinched me.  I told him “nice” and rubbed his face with my hand.  He pinched me again – kind of laughing, kind of frustrated.  I made a sad face and said, “no hit.  Nice.” And rubbed him again.  When he did it again right away he got his first time out with me.  I set him down on the floor and ignored him for about a minute.  He cried so hard I wondered for a second if he was going to remember to breath.  I then picked him up and we cuddled.  He seemed so sad, and as bad as I felt about putting him down and making him sad, this is one thing I will be firm on.  He snuggled close and didn’t pinch me again (for a few hours at least).  The next time when he pinched and I said nice he gently rubbed my face.  Smart little bugger!

In the middle of our play we did go back to the Small Restaurant for dinner.  This time we didn’t have Vivian at our side to help us order, so we were on our own.  We started off by asking for a coca cola, but our waiter wasn’t sure what we were asking and we didn’t know how else to describe it.  I think maybe he knew the whole time but got a kick out of our efforts trying to demonstrate what we wanted.  Finally he flagged over a waitress who must have known the most about English, which was more than we knew in Chinese, but not much more.  We did get two cokes.  She tried to show us in the menu what she thought what we would like, which happens to be the same thing we had the time before.  It was really good, but we were looking to try something else.  Adam asked if we could look in the menu for a minute before we decide.  She looked at him very seriously, smiled politely, and said, “No.”.  I think something was lost in translation, but nonetheless, she was not moving from that spot until we ordered.  We ended up ordering a few things and I couldn’t get enough – it really was all so delicious (plus we had skipped lunch and just had protein bars for lunch).  So good!  Adam did better with his chopsticks tonight too.  Christian continued to shovel food into his mouth from the time food was served until we pulled him out of his chair.  We lovingly call him the Buddha because his tummy gets so big after meals!

On the walk home we passed a lady walking her two dogs.  Christian LOVES dogs.  We have passed several dogs over the past few days and every time he tries to bark and points and laughs.  Good thing since I had no idea how he would feel about Molly and Buddy.  He is going to love them (I think) and they will love him (I hope).  She stopped and started talking to us in Chinese – so I said, “English” and pointed to us.  She smiled and said said, “Oh!  English.  Dogs! J” It was only a few words, but it was a great conversation.  Plus it bought some more time for Christian to see dogs.  I wonder if he ever saw dogs while at the orphanage and if he had a positive experience with them or if he has never seen anything like it. 

When we came back to the room Christian walked over to the tub and started pointing excitedly, so it was time for bath #2 J  He did better with sitting, but still makes me nervous!  We played until about 9:00 and then tried to settle him down for bed.  It took about an hour, but at 10:00 I laid him in his crib and he rolled over and went to sleep.  Crazy, right?  He slept like a baby, our baby J

Day 6: Finding Place

Today was an errand day.  We had three appointments today and all needed to go.  We had another fabulous buffet.  Our little man can eat!  I honestly think he might have out-eaten Adam!  We have decided to give Christian what he wants when he wants it within reason these next few weeks.  Food is a touchy subject though because he has had some major tummy problems and we didn’t want to push it too far.  Vivian ran to the pharmacy for us and bought some remedy that we have been mixing for him – a total of five times a day.  Tummy problems can be quite common for kids in Christian’s position.  He is stressed, over-tired, and eating foods outside of the one place he has received all of his nourishment his whole life.  It still is hard to watch.  He was very uncomfortable for him on the ride home especially. 

Our first two appointments were fast.  They were here in Zhengzhou and we just had to sign a few papers at each place.  We were really fortunate because one fee was waived.  It was funny actually, the government is increasing the fee from 1800 yuan, but they don’t know what they are going to raise it to, so for the mean time they are not charging families anything.  Didn’t make sense to me why they didn’t just take the crisp bills we already had in the red envelope, but for whatever reason, they told us to keep it.  This equates to about $300. 

Our third appointment was in Shanqui.  This is the city where Peng Peng was found.  It is about a three hours drive away from our hotel.  The first hour or so was city driving, but the next two hours were beautiful.  We got to see all kinds of fields.  Men and women were digging in the dirt and pulling supplies in trailers pulled by their bicycles.  This is what I pictured China to be and it was stunning.  It was amazing to me to only see about five tractors total, and the tractors they were using reminded me of the pictures I have seen of my grandfather driving on his dairy farm sixty years ago.  We saw apple trees, fields flooded for locus roots, and corn.  There were even a few places were goats were along the interstate.  Some of the big billboards were folded in half.  Our guide said this is because of the strong wind and rain that they get in the summer months.  The weather here is very similar to back home, it just doesn’t get as cold as Minnesota in the winter months here. 

We went to the domestic affairs building and the officer helped us complete necessary paperwork for Christian’s passport.  We should get this on Friday in a few days.  She took our picture and after about ten minutes we were done.  Oh – this might be TMI, so feel free to skip, but this is part of the experience J … I had to use the bathroom after the three hour drive before returning home, so I asked to use the bathroom.  Vivian and the orphanage director walked me to a different building to go to the bathroom.  They stood outside while I went in.  I smiled at a lady sitting next to one of the stalls and she returned my smile– I am not sure why she was there in the first place.  I cringe just thinking about what that bathroom looked like.  When I was finished I turned the handle to get out, but alas, it didn’t open.  I tried to not panic, but I really could not open the door.  I was working hard when the lady on the other side started speaking to me in Chinese – I think trying to give me instructions on what to do.  She pushed a little rod through a hole that I never noticed.  I didn’t know what to do with it.  I was twisting and turning the knob and she started talking louder and I kept saying, “English”.  AH.  About a minute later my guide walked in to check on me – thank goodness!  I was freed! 

We had been told we could visit Christian’s “Finding Place”.  That is about five miles away from the office we were at.  Unfortunately, there was road construction there and the driver would have to spend about an hour and a half getting there using back roads.  The orphanage director offered to take some pictures and to share them with us.  Vivian said that from what she read and what she has experienced, the place Christian was dropped was by loving parents.  They knew that he would be in good hands outside of a senior housing area and that he would be given a good home.  She also shared with us the ad in the paper they have to put in case he was missing.  There is a little write-up and a picture.  It breaks my heart.  Until this week I have never seen a picture of him pre-surgery.  His lip was repaired at 7 months old.  His cleft lip was pretty severe.  I just picture his poor mother having to give him up after carrying him for nine months.  Maybe she was beyond elated to be pregnant.  Maybe she wanted nothing more than to raise her beautiful boy.  But he was really underweight, which indicates he wasn’t getting much nourishment.  Not many people here have anywhere near as good of a health care plan like we have back home.  I think she loved him so much she was willing to give him up and to leave him outside a retirement home so that he could have a better future and chance then she was able to provide.  I am so thankful that he is ours and I love him dearly, but a part of me wishes she was never in that position and that she could have had the resources to keep this darling and to know his future.  He is a gem and I am sure would have made her very proud.

The ride home went well, but it really was an exhausting day.  This is when Christian’s tummy was hurting him more and when we got to the hotel room and he was able to run around and work some things out he seemed to feel much better.  We stayed in and got room service and crashed in bed by around 9:00. 

Day 5: Gotcha!

Today is Labor Day, September 1st.  On this day, with our labor of love, we get to have and to hold our newest son. 

We started off the morning with an AMAZING buffet.  Wow, was the food good.  The food at our last hotel was really good to, but I am really impressed with the quality and variety of the food here.  We have been eating some food we are used to and continue to try a few new things at all meals.  They have locus roots, which taste like yams, green duck eggs, which taste similar to regular eggs, noodles with vegetables like we have back home at Chinese food restaurants, congee, which is kind of like grits, mooncakes which are pastries filled with a creamy fruit/ nougat, soups, etc. to name a few. 

At 9:30 we met Vivian in the lobby.  CCAI’s van drove us to meet our son.  I thought we were going to have to be interviewed as part of the process, and I have seen many families’ pictures over the past few months who have had to wait and watch as dozens of other families meet their child while they wait.  We had to watch videos of horror gotcha days to prepare ourselves, so I knew there was a chance that Christian would not only want nothing to do with us, but could be horrified to go with us.  We smell different, look different, eat different, talk different, dress different, and are just different in general from anything he is used to at his orphanage.  You know how people say to prepare for the worst and hope for the best?  Well, we got the best. Our experience was magical.  We have it on video, but didn’t get any pictures.  I forget things easily, but this day is not one I will forget. 

We were the ONLY family there, and Vivian had prepared us that some families have to wait up to two hours in the lobby before their child arrives by train, but when we got there he was calmly taking a bottle from the orphanage director on a bench.  He looked at us and was very serious as he took everything in.  When they handed him to Adam he just looked at him.  He stared.  He analyzed.  He smiled.  He never cried that whole visit.  The space has a play area for kids, so while one of us did paperwork the other one played with him.  He had so much fun, but I can promise you not as much fun as we had! He loved riding the little riding car toy, playing on the slide, and checking out some fun little toys I brought him in his very own backpack.  There was no interview and all that stress and worry ended up making me just appreciate this morning that much more.  I knew how blessed we were to have things go so well. 

About twenty minutes into our time there another family entered the room and a minute later their new little boy.  It was fun to watch, but I had a hard time peeling my eyes off Christian.  The lady who brought him gave us a duck backpack with a few things for him.  Two disposable cameras we had sent him in our first care package – I can’t wait to see the pictures on there!  There was also a few diapers, 2/3 of a bag of formula, a little necklace with Chinese characters saying, “blessings” and that was it.  I am assuming he never got the second care package we sent him because nothing was included from that box – another disposable camera and a recordable book that Adam and I read.  I had also sent a jump drive, but that was not returned. 

We were finished there around 11:00 and when we got to our room we decided to order room service and keep the day really low key.  We ended up ordering room service for both lunch and dinner.  It was a really nice day.  We started our play by showing him a drawer we had filled with toys from home.  When we opened the drawer I handed him one item at a time and then he walked that item over to Adam.  Adam practiced his Chinese for saying thank you (sounds like Shay Shay).  We have played this game numerous times over the past few days J  Christian especially loved a glowing plastic ball on the end of a stick.  He played with this for most of our ride back to the hotel and throughout the day.  He also really enjoyed small stickers.  He helped take off a little sticker, handed it to Adam or I, then we put it on whatever part of his body he pointed to – usually either of the backs of his hands. 

The morning/ early afternoon went beautifully.  He fell asleep taking a bottle and we laid him down for a nap.  He slept a full two hours and then when he woke up the poor thing became a bit of a mess.  He was scared.  He was calling and crying for his “mama,” who was not me.  He didn’t want either of us but tolerated sitting in my lap and crying.  He held onto his juice in my lap and once he seemed calm and content, about an hour later, Adam and I thought it would be a good idea to take him swimming.  We had read in his file that he LOVED water, so we thought this would be a good way to help him have fun again.  He wasn’t happy to put on his swim trunks, but only a few tears later we walked into the pool room.  Adam got in the water and I handed him Christian… but then he started REALLY crying.  We tried to make it fun, but after about two minutes decided to bring him back to the room.  People were staring and he wasn’t liking it anymore.  After that the rest of the day was pretty quiet and we played pretty low key.  I would have loved to rock and coddle our little man to sleep, but Adam was thinking big picture and wanted to have him lay down in his crib and go to sleep on his own.  This is how he went to bed all of his life and it is how we would like for him to continue going to bed when we get home and start our new routine.  So, we laid him down after rocking him, cuddles, and songs, and he cried pretty hard for about three minutes.  Only another minute or so of sniffles later and he was out cold for the night.  He snuggled with the mini blanket I made him, which made me feel good.