What a difference a week makes! We have been home for fifteen days and this last week has continued to bring great improvements. I feel very confident that Peng Peng has established Adam and I as his parents. We brought him to church this morning and the love that was poured on us and the smiles we all received made me just want to cry many times - God is so good to have given us this family. I am curious what the percentage of families in our church who have adopted, but I think it is high. My guess is maybe 15% of the members in our church have an adopted child. So, many people "get" what we are going through - both the ups and the downs - and they also get what a gift our miracle is.
I have realized how well God knows us. I believe that God only gives you what you can handle. Sometimes I think he gives me way more credit than I deserve. I feel so frazzled lately - but in a blissfully exhausted way. I can't tell you how many times I have asked my kids a question, like, "what would you like on your toast" or "would you like milk or water" - they have answered, and then I completely spaced that I even asked them the question let alone remembered their answer. But, God knew our family well, and included in the word "family" I mean Peng Peng. He is feisty. He is loving and affectionate. He is determined. He gives me a run for my money many times throughout the day - and hearing him say, "mama" just melts me. Utterly and completely.
He continues to do well with AJ and Abby. 80% of the time he plays very very well with them, and they are always amazing with him. We are still working on sharing, both toys and myself, and he does continue to bite, pinch, and hit, but the frequency has greatly decreased and his increase in communication has significantly helped improve his frustrations. He has had several time outs and has really impressed me with understanding what they are for. Last night AJ was sitting in a little fluffy red chair. It was his when he was younger but in general it is Christians now. Well, Peng Peng didnt like that and walked over and smacked AJ. I put him in a time out and when his time was done I sat and talked and said, "do nice to your brother. He loves you". I put him down and he ran over to AJ (who was still sitting in the chair). I was prepared for another smack before I could get there and another time out, but instead he tried to vocalize "nice and caressed his hand. Yeah!
The weather has been beautiful lately, so we spent the afternoon outside yesterday. It was so fun harvesting our final veggies from the garden. Peng Peng especially enjoyed poking his fingers into the tomatoes and had juice all over himself! The kids taught him how to roll down the hill, which was hysterical.
I discovered that Signing Time is on Netflix - whooo hooo! I have been doing weekly trips to the library to check them out, so this will save time and the money I would eventually get stuck with for late fees since I am forgetting so many things lately. I have to start learning new signs because this kid is learning them so fast! I am going to keep listing his signs because this is the only place I am really recording all of his progress and it is fun for me to see all these amazing gains. New words are in bold. all done, apple, ball, bath, bird, book, brush teeth, candy, cereal, clean up, cookie, cracker, dog, drink, eat, fish, hat, help, jump, milk, more, monkey, music, play, shoes, sleep, socks, slide, wait, walk, water, up
Our biggest accomplishment this week was sleep. It is by no means better, and is most definitely the most stressful part of my day, but we have really come far this week. When I am not in the room he cries. Hard. I don't honestly think it is an attachment issue solely. I think it is a combination of attachment, he likes to be in with the action, and he is almost two and doesn't want to sleep. So, I bought a baby monitor and a little fish thing that has a light and we just hang out in my room for close to three hours a day. About two hours for nap and an hour for bedtime. I am sure you are reading this envious of our time like this, but trust me, I would much rather him be able to sleep peacefully without the worries of the nightmares and without worrying about him anxious to be abandoned again than to lay in my bed. Plus, I lay here thinking of the billion other things I should do, including spend time with my other two kids. Fortunately, nap time is way harder than bedtime, so AJ and Abby are at school 5/7 of these days.
Yesterday morning we were able to visit Adam's grandmother (Great-Grandma Giles) and Aunt Val. The kids had so much fun, but I think us three adults were having just as nice of a time. They are so sweet and such kind people, it was a gift to have their company for the morning. We even hit up the second-hand store beforehand and I bought costumes for Halloween, clothes for my cousin's wedding in a few weeks, a baby monitor, a riding toy for Peng Peng, and a few dresses, all for under $100!
Today I sat in the bathroom for the first hour of nap time. When he
cried I poked my head, said something reasurring, or sang a song, but I
didn't sit in my bed by him because whenever I did he would laugh or be
silly. You might be thinking, "well, maybe he wasn't tired then"... but
I know he was tired because less than twenty minutes before he ALMOST
fell asleep on the car ride home from church. We had to keep him awake
by tickling him. Yesterday he napped about five minutes in the car and
then couldn't sleep...and we had a rough afternoon as a result of him
being too tired. So, if progress starts by sitting in the bathroom, I
will take it. Abby is at a friend's and AJ is getting bonus electronics
time, Adam is on a motorcycle ride, and now I get to update on here, so
it is a win-win for everyone!
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